If I Ever Leave This World Alive

If i ever leave this world alive
ill thank for all the things you did in my life
if i ever leave this world alive
ill come back down and sit beside your feet tonight
where i am youll always be
more than just a memory
if i ever leave this world alive.

If i ever leave this world alive
ill take on all the sadness
that i left behind
if i ever leave this world alive
the madness that you feel will soon subside
so in a word don't shed a tear
ill be her when it gets weird
if i ever leave this world alive

so when in doubt just call my name
just before you go insane
if i ever this world
hey i may never leave this world
but if i ever leave this world alive

she says im ok; im alright
though you have gone from my life
you said that it would
now everything should be all right

she says im ok; im alright
though you have gone from my life
you said that it would
now everything be all right
yeah should be alright.



If i ever leave this world alive- flogging Molly

You left

Well.. i hate to admit it, and for the most part i tend to not admit it as long as i can. But your gone. You have left. The night you decided that you wanted to go is the night that you decided you wanted to walk out of my life. You made a choice to leave me here alone. I wish everyday that i could tell you just how mad i am at you for it. To know that i have to go through the rest of my life without you. To think that my wedding day will be missing someone so important to me. I have a hard time thinking that i cant call and ask what you think about things, let alone thinking about the big moments of my life. For instance... my 16th birthday, one you said you would be there for. You told me you would come see me and you didnt!! You left before i turned 16. My highschool graduation, my 21st birthday one you promised to take me to vegas for. You told me you would be there for that too. You told me to never drik without you because i wouldnt know how to handle myself i needed help. well i had to do it myself because you werent there like you said you would be. Im not sure how im supposed to go on day by day. so i will admit that i am so angry with you that i push it down and pretend that its not there. But more and more i come to realize that i cant keep doing that. Its not right for me to keep hating myself because i am so mad that you left me.

There is a song that i think about you everytime i hear it. its called "if i ever leave this world alive" and i have played it on repeat for the last couple days. it makes me smile, but it makes me cry at the same time because i do think about you the whole time. It talks about always being there for the ones you leave behind. well i feel like you come and go but when i really need you your not there. You came to me once in a dream, and told me you were ok, you told me that you would always be there for me. Well where the hell are you right now? Why havent you come to me since that night? i feel like your abandoned me. Its so hard to think everyday that i am mad at you because you were and are so amazing that i could never be mad at you. but the more and more that i think about it i realize just how much anger i have towards you and you dying. Lastnight when i went to talk to you it was the hardest thing to tell you about my day because i just thought that you didnt care anymore. Well if you dont care then why should i?

I try so hard to pretend to be happy and ok with everything, especially when i talk to the family about it, but all i keep doing is makig the pain grow more and more within. thats when i know that i need to hide it away, if i ever let it out then all it will do is blow up and turn me into the same miserable kid that i was 7 years ago. im not sure when i will ever be ok that you left me. but until that day im so sorry for hating you. I love you!